Odd eBay Items

Last week’s seller of the Cannibal Squirrel may be my new hero. This week he’s selling a squirrel with heads for hands.

Lobster Boy Hand Cast Son of Lobster Boy Hand Cast

Grady Stiles, Jr. was a famous freak show performer known as Lobster Boy. He was also a wife-beater and convicted murderer. His own family hired a hitman to kill him. You may have seen the story on City Confidential. This is a cast of the hand of his son, who has the same deformity.

Cow Skull Mutilated Cow Skull

Here is the skull of a cow that died under mysterious circumstances. I’ve heard a lot of theories on the cause of cattle mutilations. Alien experiments. Satanic cults. Black Ops. Chupacabras. Giant bloodthirsty rabbits.

Vagina Costume Vagina Costume

Um… it’s a costume that looks like a vagina. What else is there to say?

Neanderthals Next Door

It’s been less than a week, and I’m already wishing my neighbors would move out. I constantly hear yelling, slamming doors, and stomping feet over there. Scout doesn’t like it either. She barks back every time she hears something. At first I tried to keep her quiet, but now I just let her go at it.

One day last week I came home and found the door that leads under the house wide open. Sometimes the wind blows it open. I had never been under there before so I took the opportunity to go in and look around. I found a discarded satellite dish that may get used in a future project. I also found that whoever wired the cable did a half-assed job. I could easily run a cable from a splitter on my neighbors’ side of the house over to my side. I’m not saying I would do that, but I could.

Odd eBay Items

Cannibal Squirrel Cannibal Squirrel

Here we have a squirrel dining on the severed head of a comrade. I’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff made by taxidermists, but this is one of the coolest. I’m really tempted to buy it.

Foreskin Restoration Device Foreskin Restoration Device

This contraption is apparently used to stretch the skin on a circumcised wang in order to re-create foreskin. Sounds painful. If you don’t want to go to all that trouble you can always try wearing artificial foreskin.

Two-Headed Fetus Pendant Two-Headed Fetus Pendant

The Engrish description of this item says it was carved from a “fruit tree ghost”. It’s preserved nicely in a plastic case along with what appears to be an ounce of urine. Wearing this around your neck might not protect you from “bad spiritual”, but it will definitely protect you from hot chicks.

Won't you be my neighbor?

I heard a lot of commotion coming from the other side of the duplex today. I peeked out the window to see what appear to be my new neighbors. Apparently a sasquatch and his mate are moving in. Time to alert the BFRO.

I guess that puts an end to my watching TV with the surround sound cranked up. It’ll be nice when I can afford a place of my own and not have to worry about disturbing others. I don’t know why I bother, though. From past experiences I’ve learned that most people don’t reciprocate the consideration.

Zune Fanboy

I’m pretty excited about the new Zune line up coming out next month. I have no plans to upgrade to the 80GB version. At least not right now. Other than more storage, there is really no reason to. Old Zunes can be upgraded to the new firmware, which will finally add wireless syncing. And any new accessories will be backwards compatible.

The Zune Marketplace will also receive an overhaul. The new launch will add 1 million DRM-free tracks and eventually TV shows.

You’ll notice that none of the new models come in brown. It wasn’t a very popular color. I actually prefer my brown Zune to the others. If you want a great deal on the old brown, Buy.com currently has them for $99.

#13. Learn to cook pineapple fried rice.

I haven’t abandoned the list. I’m still working on a few things. Unfortunately a good portion of the list requires two things I don’t have enough of right now, money and time.

I don’t consider myself a cook by any means, but I can follow a recipe. That’s why I figured this would be relatively easy to accomplish. What I didn’t realize is that something as simple as rice can be easily screwed up if you don’t know what you’re doing. My first few attempts at steaming rice resulted in a gloppy mess, but now I have the hang of it.

There are several pineapple fried rice recipes to be found on the internet and each one is different. I took bits from several of them, omitting ingredients I don’t care for, and assembled my own. Almost every recipe I found called for fish sauce. I haven’t been able to find it at any grocery store so I left it out.

I’ve fixed it several times over the last couple of months. It’s not Royal House quality, but it’s pretty good. Once I get the ingredients down it should be even better.

Phone Spam

I got a new cell phone number back in March. I had it for about three weeks when I started getting calls from a debt collection agency for a guy named Thomas. At first the calls started coming while I was at work and unable to answer them. Most of the time it was a recorded message, but sometimes it was a real person. You would think that when they reached my voicemail and heard a different name than that of the person they were looking for, they would realize they had the wrong number.

This kept up for awhile. Always calling while I was at work. Almost always leaving me a message. It got to the point where they were calling everyday. Sometimes more than once per day. Occasionally they called at times when I was able to answer, but it was a recorded message telling me to hold for the next available agent. I wasn’t going to waste my time doing that.

Eventually, after about three months, I answered a call and got a live person on the other end. I told the man that he had the wrong person, but I don’t think he believed me. I was becoming slightly irate. He read off this guy’s home address to me. It was somewhere in Florida. I told him that the number he called is in Tennessee. He apologized for calling and promptly hung up.

They never called back… until last month. They’ve been calling about once a week. Tonight I did a little research and found that a section of Florida uses the area code 941, just one digit off from my area code. I did a reverse lookup on my number with the 941 area code but found nothing. I had the guy’s name, but wasn’t sure how to spell it. I tried searching for him using every possible spelling I could think of. It didn’t take long to find him. Now I have his home address, phone number, and email. If these debt collectors knew how to use Google they could have this info as well. Next time they call I’m going to hand it all over and hopefully I won’t hear from them again.