Zombie Bowl 2005

After the Zombie Apocalypse occurs (we all know it’s coming) and we survivors have fortified ourselves within a zombie-free city, I suggest we turn the mass extermination of the living dead into a sport I like to call the Zombie Bowl.

The object of the game is simple. The player must cross the length of a standard American football field to retrieve a flag and then return it to the end zone where he started. At the start of the game 25 zombies are released in the end zone containing the flag. Once the player makes it to the 50 yard line 25 more zombies are set loose back at his home end zone. Upon reaching the flag, another 25 zombies are unleashed back at the home end zone. So the player must face twice as many re-animated corpses on the return trip.

Of course it would be suicide to try this unarmed. The player visits the armory beforehand and chooses one primary weapon, one melee weapon, one sidearm, and two pieces of armor.

Primary Weapon
Police issue pump shotgun (24 shells)
Double barrel sawed-off shotgun (24 shells)
Kalashnikov (30 round magazine)
Uzi (32 round magazine)

Melee Weapon
Chainsaw w/ half tank of gas
Two-headed axe
Samurai sword
Spiked flail

Walther P99 (Two 16 round magazines)
Desert Eagle (Three 9 round magazines)
S&W .44 Magnum (30 rounds)

Kevlar flack vest
Motorcycle helmet with visor
Hockey shoulder pads
Knee and shin pads
Arm pieces from a suit of armor
Spiked steel-toe boots
Aviator goggles
Football helmet
Umpire’s chest protector
Leather gloves
Police riot shield

We’ll be playing by classic living dead laws. These slow, lumbering zombies can only be killed by destroying the brain or by severing the head from the rest of the body. There are only four rules to this game.

The player can not run out of bounds.
There is a 30 minute time limit.
If there are any zombies within the opposing end zone, the player must kill them before he can take the flag.
When the player returns to his home end zone he must kill any zombies inside before it can be counted as a win.

The referees enforcing these rules will be a group of six snipers positioned throughout the stadium.

Before the match starts, the player is given the option of selecting a special item. If he chooses to do so he must give up one weapon or one piece of armor in return.

Optional Special Item
Hand grenade
One dose of zombie virus antidote (Must be used within 2 minutes of initial infection. Provides no protection for future infections.)
Single-shot flare gun (Signals snipers to take out the three zombies closest to the player.)

It isn’t necessary to kill all 75 zombies, but if the player can do so before returning to his end zone and within the given time limit he will be entered into the Zombie Bowl Hall of Fame. Co-op games are possible if the number of zombies are increased.

If I were playing I’d choose the pump shotgun, samurai sword, Desert Eagle, aviator goggles, and probably the flack vest.